Elegy for a Lost Love
by Winged Elf
Summary: The woman Phantom Dennis was going to marry reflects on her life and what might have been. Rated for language.


Elegy for a Lost Love  
  
Disclaimer: Dennis and his girlfriend (except her name, life and personality, which is basically me, I've just realised) and his mother do not belong to me. They belong to Mutant Enemy, Joss Whedon, and whoever else can lay claim to them.  
  
A/N: Since I couldn't find any fics exploring the feelings of Dennis' girlfriend at being left standing and not knowing why, I thought I'd write one. As far as I know, her name was never stated on "Angel". If I'm wrong, please feel free to tell me her name, and I'll change it. Also, I think her age is roughly correct, but I'm not sure. If someone knows I'm wrong, please let me know. This story is dedicated to my grandmother, who died a few months ago while I was out of the country, and before I got the chance to say goodbye. I'm so, so, sorry, Nan. This, and everything else I will ever do, is for you. I'll make you proud, wherever you are.  
  
  
  
He never came.  
  
I waited, at the bus station, for *hours*, and he never came. At the time, naturally, I thought he'd just changed his mind without bothering to tell me, and eventually I went home, and I cried for a long time, because I loved him, and he betrayed me. I should have known, I should have *known* that he would never do that, but I wasn't exactly thinking straight at that point in my life. All I could remember was him saying, "I love you, Emilie. Nothing will ever change that. Ever. Even my mother won't come between us, I swear", and all I could think was, "Well, Dennis, you son of a bitch (and I meant that literally), forever ended pretty damn quick, didn't it? And you didn't even have the balls to tell me it was all off. So much for true love, huh?" I hated him for a long time for doing that to me, and it took me quite a while to trust another man after that little debacle.  
  
  
  
But I managed it, eventually. I met a sweet guy named Justin, and this one *did* follow through on his promises. We married seven years to the day after I was supposed to elope with Dennis, and he gave me three wonderful children. Sophie, Kate and Mark were the light of my life, and their children bring me joy to this day. Justin and I had the life I should have had with Dennis, and it was a good life, and our years together were happy, and all too short. My Justin died, ironically, just after taking his retirement so that we could spend more time together. He had a massive heart attack one morning while I was out shopping. I found him sitting in the sun in our garden, with an enormous smile on his face. I take comfort from that, from the fact that he died happy, and apparently instantly. Nevertheless, his death still grieves me greatly. Without him, life is not nearly as sweet, except those parts of it that concern my grandbabies.  
  
  
  
And now I'm sixty-five, and one day I'll be seventy, and eighty, and ninety, if I make it that far. I'm old, and I don't deal well with shocks and surprises, but everything I thought I knew about my life story has just been turned upside down by a story I read in the daily paper today. I know, now, why Dennis never came.  
  
  
  
The paper said a body – well, a skeleton – had been found, walled up in an apartment block in Los Angeles. Dennis' mother's apartment block, and Dennis' mother's apartment, to be exact. I knew the Old Witch had died of an apparent heart attack the day we were supposed to elope, and that Dennis had disappeared. I even half-believed the rumours that he had somehow killed her and run away. That, at least, would have provided a halfway acceptable reason for his failure to meet me, especially for someone who actually *knew* the old woman. But this! Never, in my wildest nightmares, had I ever imagined that *this* was why. It seemed that tests had been carried out on the tissue samples taken from his mother's body, all those years ago, and on the bones found now…and it was Dennis. That bitch he called mother must have found out about our plans, must have *bricked* * him* * up* and left him to die slowly inside the wall. It could only have been her. God, I always knew she was evil, but to do that… May she rot in Hell. May she *rot* in *Hell* for what she did to that poor innocent boy. And for what she's done to me, both before Justin came into my life, and now.  
  
  
  
You see, while I've had a decent life, even a good one, and I wouldn't change what I've got now for anything, the rest of my time on this Earth will be coloured by the knowledge of what might have been. A wise man once said, "There is no sadder phrase in our language than 'what if'", and he was right. For the rest of my life, I will wonder what might have been different if Dennis had been allowed to come to meet me that day so long ago, if I might somehow have had an even better life. I will never forget him. And from now until the day I die, I will grieve for him. I will mourn the boy I knew and loved forever, because now, I know *why* he never came. 


End file.
